


Everything

by princesscaroline (Pardichlorobenzene)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Victorian, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 13:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pardichlorobenzene/pseuds/princesscaroline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Wrapped around the shadows, cloaked in the murky nothingness in the darkest hours of the night, Gerard found himself truly, and utterly alone.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything

            Wrapped around the shadows, cloaked in the murky nothingness in the darkest hours of the night, Gerard found himself truly, and utterly alone. Not the sort of alone in which one was temporarily without another, but the sort of alone where the nothingness grew and expanded until it encompassed his entire being, wringing out his soul which had been tainted with blood and failure- failure to succeed in all that he’d ever attempted, failure to live with purpose.

            It was his own damned fault, he supposed, that he existed as he did today, a shell in which held nothing but organs and faulty chemical compounds. Every emotion he’d ever experienced, every rush of lips and blink of an eye had all existed manually, planned and proceeded as though he was a system of wires and circuits rather than a person. All the things he’d spent years studying and attempting to understand were remarkably worthless.

            He was huddled up, having hoisted himself against the back wall, inhaling heavily through a haze of poisonous gas that hadn’t yet succeeded in killing him. His wait was perpetual in itself, the queue to death as nothing else rose itself to possibility. And had he the ambition to quicken the process he would, yet he was lost in his desire to do so. There was no desire, really, except to _be._ And he was horribly, utterly alone.

            “Gerard!” He didn’t move.

            “Gerard, oh my goodness, there you are, I suppose you’re…. you’re…” Frank fell to his knees in the silence that held him. “I’d thought; no, I’m not quite certain what I thought.” He weakly placed his hand on Gerard’s shoulder, and Gerard could distantly feel the pulse that quivered within his palm. Frank was struggling to catch his breath.

            “Gerard,” He whispered again, voice hoarse and weak, and he surged forward, pressing his lips vehemently against the other, quaking with the intensity of it, fingers tangling through Gerard’s hair. Gerard could feel Frank’s heart, beating steadily above his chest, and he closed his eyes and moved to place his hand on it, melting just a little when Frank moved forward again. There were tears on his face, and Gerard lifted his other hand weakly to brush them away.

            He pulled back. “Frank, you’ve got to get out of here… I… you just have to let me go, you… you-” Frank crashed his lips against Gerard’s again, shaking his head violently against Gerard’s grip, tears falling onto their tongues. Frank moved backward, just an inch, a small bridge of spit between their lips remaining.

            “No,” Frank whispered, “No, I refuse to leave you. You must come with me, Gerard. We, why, we can journey across the entirety of the Mediterranean, across the Continent, and perhaps even to America, if you’d like. We can be together _forever_ , and they can’t-”

            “They can do anything they want, Frank,” Gerard hissed, though the sound materialized more as a choked sob, his tears undoubtedly falling and staining his waistcoat. He’d made such a mess of himself, really. “It’s the law! You know, you _know_ why this is wrong, and a sin! Such a sin, Frank, that we’d be lucky to keep hold on our heads in an imperial courtroom, and I can’t….” His voice broke, tone reduced to a half intelligible whimper. “I _can’t_ let anything happen to you.”

            “Gerard…” Frank whispered, and Gerard met his gaze, eyelashes wet and dripping, eyes glistening in the lack of light from the moon that snuck through the third window.  “I…”

            “They’ll _hurt_ you,” Gerard murmured softly, leaning upwards to find himself in a kneeling position before the younger, hands clutching Frank’s with the sort of ginger intensity that he’d fear shattering him with. “You’re _everything,_ everything I’ve always worked to cherish, to protect, to possess, and yet now that I finally comprehend that you were never mine to keep… I…” He exhaled, slowly. “Frank, you don’t need me. Get married, find a woman, have children. I can’t provide you with anything but secretive touches and stolen glances across a ballroom,” He looked down, his heart sunken into his stomach. “You weren’t mine to begin with.”

            Frank grasped Gerard’s shoulders then, with a burning fever that drove the latter into a sort of submissive limpness.  “No, you’re wrong,” He voiced harshly yet quietly. “You’re wrong, because I’ve _always_ been yours, even preceding the moment we met, and then I _knew_ , Gerard, I knew because I felt it within my heart,” Frank reached down and grasped Gerard’s hand, which had slipped into his lap, and thrust it against his chest, beats intense beneath the older man’s fingertips, “And surely you can feel it as well, because it’s stronger than ever.

            “Gerard, the moment I met your eyes, we were meant to be with one another. I simply… I just, I _know_. I will not accept any argument. From that moment, I was in love with you. There’s nothing, _nothing_ I wouldn’t sacrifice to be with you, always with you. I couldn’t care less about the children you can’t offer me, or whatever remaining normalcy I’m giving away,” Frank smiled, then, broken, his tone softening, “I would take a bullet for you without consideration.”

            They remained there, for a moment, reveling in one another’s existence, before such passion nearly combusted and they surged against one another, melding and tangling their bodies to be closer than perhaps physically possible, and Gerard felt light-headed, unbounded to the ground as their tongues molded and their heartbeats sped. Soft little whimpers and gasps resided between them, and in that moment all energy existed at once, pulsing around them. They grasped and tugged relentlessly at one another, in such a silent house, and it felt as though the entire world was swept into their passion, and yet it was only the two of them.

           

            

**Author's Note:**

> sigh idek man


End file.
